My name is Heather Ness, previously known as Heather Weir (Weirdo)
I am 27 but I like to say I'm in my mid twenties. I'm in my mid twenties.
I have two children aged 1 and 2.
I also have a husband somewhere. We have been married for nearly 3 years and have only known each other for 5. We do love each other very much, we just don't get to show it too often with the 2 hour window between bedtime and when our toddler reawakens to come in-between us.
So now you'll also know I am impulsive, having managed to get hitched, have kids and move six times in five years. Which also leads me to my favourite phrase.
"Fuck it"
My aim is to reach out to other people by sharing a small but intimate side to our family lives, along with the personal highs and lows I face on a daily basis. Not long after I began writing as a parent, I realised the profound effects my words of honesty and stories told without filters had had on parents like myself for the better. I genuinely feel an unspeakable high receiving kind words from strangers to say I actually helped, that I made a small difference.
Two years ago I would have choked if you told me I'd be saying the next sentence anytime soon. I actually consider myself to be a pretty "mumsy mum" without the traditional "mumsy" perceptions and I am by no means embarrassed to shout it out. I'm like my own kind of mumsy mum - the kind that doesn't really give ones f*ck about what a mum should be, I just care what my kids want me to be, I care deeply about being a mum.
My kids have made me love my life more than I ever have and admittedly, most of the time I want to be around them, I choose to be around them and I struggle to leave them. I've never been an overly sociable creature so this 'full time mum' (not a fan of that phrase) life was made for me. That's not to say my mothering ways are conventional and to the book - far from it, I've never even sniffed a parenting book. I just know I'm not a mum who thinks my kids are ruining me, truthfully - they better me every day and they keep me young.
My kids are really good kids, that's not me boasting, that's not me lying to myself - I can openly acknowledge when they are being little sh*ts but for the most part for whatever reason - they are really well behaved and relatively easy kids and I'm not going to down talk them to fit into a specific category or pretend to be a parent that I'm not - I'm well and truly done trying to fit in. I am at the stage of being so incredibly confident just being the mum I am - I only need to look at my kids to know I'm doing it right.
My aim is to reach out to other people by sharing a small but intimate side to our family lives, along with the personal highs and lows I face on a daily basis. Not long after I began writing as a parent, I realised the profound effects my words of honesty and stories told without filters had had on parents like myself for the better. I genuinely feel an unspeakable high receiving kind words from strangers to say I actually helped, that I made a small difference.
Two years ago I would have choked if you told me I'd be saying the next sentence anytime soon. I actually consider myself to be a pretty "mumsy mum" without the traditional "mumsy" perceptions and I am by no means embarrassed to shout it out. I'm like my own kind of mumsy mum - the kind that doesn't really give ones f*ck about what a mum should be, I just care what my kids want me to be, I care deeply about being a mum.
My kids have made me love my life more than I ever have and admittedly, most of the time I want to be around them, I choose to be around them and I struggle to leave them. I've never been an overly sociable creature so this 'full time mum' (not a fan of that phrase) life was made for me. That's not to say my mothering ways are conventional and to the book - far from it, I've never even sniffed a parenting book. I just know I'm not a mum who thinks my kids are ruining me, truthfully - they better me every day and they keep me young.
My kids are really good kids, that's not me boasting, that's not me lying to myself - I can openly acknowledge when they are being little sh*ts but for the most part for whatever reason - they are really well behaved and relatively easy kids and I'm not going to down talk them to fit into a specific category or pretend to be a parent that I'm not - I'm well and truly done trying to fit in. I am at the stage of being so incredibly confident just being the mum I am - I only need to look at my kids to know I'm doing it right.
As I stepped into motherhood or should I say, got thrown into it after three days of "I think I'm going to die, give me every drug going NOW." I had somewhere down the line forgotten how to think for myself and how to trust myself. Before I knew it I was striving for perfection and failing at every turn. I was asking anyone and everyone for advice and I was acting on it - stupidly people were allowing me to believe their opinion on parenting was better for my babies than my own. Then something happened about 6 months into my life as a mother and everything changed. The word 'perfect' became a word I deleted from my mind. Since then, I have become the best mother I could ever imagine - I set the rules, the frequency and the standards for myself and as soon as I let myself trust "me," ignored the unsolicited advice and became my own version of mother and not someone elses, my whole life changed for the better. This theory is what I hope I can encourage others to do - it's the only advice I'd ever push, the self help kind.
I feel many have a generalized view of how people live in our current situation, which is the 'football life'. That generalized view sometimes paints a very untrue and unfair picture. If you were to set labels on our lives - I am a former model, my husband is a professional footballer which to societies standards makes me a 'WAG.' I am quite far from the stereotype, which you will soon discover if you are yet to read. I care very little for designer anything, I own one handbag and a few pairs of sh*tty heels that see the light of day a few times a year.
Our current lifestyle involves a lot of moving about which is also where my blog became my savior from a social aspect. Quite frankly friends are few and far between and family are a far cry from home.
I have felt inspired to bring a fresh new concept to the parenting bloggers world, I feel like theres been a new movement but to the extent that there's now a "cool kids" gang too, kind of slating the traditional choices and concepts of other mothers. This is where I hope to bridge the gap - to stop the slagging matches of parents to parents. Get parents to feel so comfortable in their own sh*t, that they don't even feel it necessary to feel threatened or judgmental to another not so similar parent. Teaching self love and acceptance can change the ball game completely. Finding understanding, respect and if you can't find that, find acceptance that they do sh*t differently.
It's like the old argument about people feeling judged for taking their kids to McDonalds has now reversed and parents who don't take their kids to McDonalds are now are boring, judge, goody-two-shoes prats - which is bollocks. I don't take my kids to McDonalds, maybe I will one day but I'm not boring, I'm certainly not judgey and I'm sure as hell not a goody-two-shoes prat. See what I'm saying? It's horrible to feel threatened by the choices you know are right for your kids but conflicted on wither to be open with this or to hide your choices in fear you may not make "friends."
Recently with the success of this blog I have ventured out to find a product I could design that would do the same effect to other parents on a daily basis that my blogs seem to achieve. A sense of self love, self acceptance and confidence. Finding help by finding yourself.
Please stay tuned and thank you to everyone who's been kind enough to read and share their stories.
Love H x
I have felt inspired to bring a fresh new concept to the parenting bloggers world, I feel like theres been a new movement but to the extent that there's now a "cool kids" gang too, kind of slating the traditional choices and concepts of other mothers. This is where I hope to bridge the gap - to stop the slagging matches of parents to parents. Get parents to feel so comfortable in their own sh*t, that they don't even feel it necessary to feel threatened or judgmental to another not so similar parent. Teaching self love and acceptance can change the ball game completely. Finding understanding, respect and if you can't find that, find acceptance that they do sh*t differently.
It's like the old argument about people feeling judged for taking their kids to McDonalds has now reversed and parents who don't take their kids to McDonalds are now are boring, judge, goody-two-shoes prats - which is bollocks. I don't take my kids to McDonalds, maybe I will one day but I'm not boring, I'm certainly not judgey and I'm sure as hell not a goody-two-shoes prat. See what I'm saying? It's horrible to feel threatened by the choices you know are right for your kids but conflicted on wither to be open with this or to hide your choices in fear you may not make "friends."
Recently with the success of this blog I have ventured out to find a product I could design that would do the same effect to other parents on a daily basis that my blogs seem to achieve. A sense of self love, self acceptance and confidence. Finding help by finding yourself.
Please stay tuned and thank you to everyone who's been kind enough to read and share their stories.
Love H x
No comments:
Post a Comment