Tuesday, 1 August 2017

What's Her Story?

A mind of dreams,  
A world right at her feet.
Heart amongst the waves.
Her spirit glowed in safe retreat.

A first love, she held so dear.
A father whom loved rock and roll 
With him she knew no fear.
Protector of her untouched soul.

I love you darling BDD
Hold my hand this last time,
Forever you are with me
Your heart belongs to mine.

Her dreams they drowned
On the day he flew,
Those sunsets turned to storms 
Her spirit caged, the darkness grew.

His feet no longer on the window pane
All cherished moments gone,
Big bear hugs, "Daddy again, again!"
Last happy breaths were drawn.

Her sheltered family at an end
A house a home no longer.
Her world, her hope was long forgotten,
They didn't grow nor become stronger.

Walking a path alone 
Didn't know right nor wrong,
Her pain and grief, nobody shared
She believed that she was strong.

Home became a battle field 
She hid and chose a way,
Believed he was her shield 
Instead he lead her astray.

Numbed, she shut it out 
Not once did she yes,
She'd protect her spirit
She "chose" this awful mess.

Surface pain was easier 
It didn't touch her soul, 
He could take her body
But that's all that he stole.

Drugs replaced what love once was
that darkness simply fled,
But relief it did not last 
Her heart, it truly bled.

A precious life grew inside her
How could she be so reckless, 
The blood, the loss and fear
She'd been left completely senseless.

Hiding from her pain was ugly
She lived a life of lies,
A dirty, selfish loner
Her young way to stay alive.

Soon it became too much
The visions grew and grew,
She raised a blade, not once nor twice
"Oh Daddy, can I be with you?" 

It was her fault, she caused this pain
He hurt those that she loved.
She was that bitch, the "f*cked up wean"
He threw those daggers - taunted, shoved.

Run away or die right here
Her adult grew and grew,
Her inner child was screaming
Dad was there; she simply knew.

This was her redemption
Own those past mistakes,
It's time to heel those wounds 
She'd own the bumps and scrapes. 

It was her, she chose it all
It was time to lay her bed, 
Accept that nobody would catch her fall
Or wipe those tears she shed.

Be independent and grateful
Stop using those that care,
Her past actions were disgraceful 
Be more self aware!

"I'll make you proud," she'd quietly say
How dare she abuse a life,
"I'm not sure how, but I'll find a way"
For now she'd own regret.

One day a man saw her heart
The truth it didn't pass him,
He seen what she had left behind 
And grabbed her on a whim.

Every kiss and touch was meant
She lay and numbed like before,
But everything was beautiful 
For once she didn't feel the gore.

A love she'd known but once ago
Trust and joy she'd long forgotten,
This feeling it was safe and pure
A sign befell, her dad - a robin.

A ring, a vow, another life.
She'd finally begun achieving, 
How did this "bitch" become a wife?
Because she never stopped believing.

The love it grew, created life
But love she couldn't bare, 
Through all the trouble and the strife 
Her inner child was standing there.

Life it turned from black to white 
She lived in sadness, loss and pain.
Why did she deserve this bliss
Could it happen all over again?

She felt a mothers undying love
But then she felt another,
A broken child inside her mind 
"Please don't forget the other."

Her younger self was screaming
"Help me find acceptance, did I do so wrong?"
"No dear child, it's simple
You are right where you belong."

Help was sought and past reflected 
A child's mind, a broken heart
Little guidance and support, 
It was never her fault from the start.

As a woman she may not have chose
The path her inner child had crawled,
But that's the problem that she faced
Her childhood was mauled.

A tangled mess she tried to fix
A child's mind not yet grown,
Not equipped to face the world
A pain not hers to own.

Peace at last her heart did feel
A decade of war later,
A snippet of her movie reel
Lessons that will cater.

To serve a purpose and inspire
To fight and stand your ground, 
To lift up spirits and shed a light
And prove that peace can be found.

Fiction or a story
Take it as you will, 
It only holds a lesson
If you believe this skill.

We all hold that strength
A love and strong belief, 
To focus on a lessons duty
That can teach us much from grief.

Though lessons can be hard
And life can be so cruel, 
Don't believe you can't be fixed
Life's number one rule.

There is always hope 
There is life beyond pain,
She finally spoke out
So that she could live again. 

Be proud of who you are
Don't ever be ashamed,
To love and protect 
A spirit that's untamed.